Hearing your child say, “I want mummy!” or seeing them cry as you walk away can break any parent’s heart. Separation anxiety is hard—not just for your child but for you too. You might feel torn between staying to comfort them and leaving so they can learn to adjust.
It’s a big step for your little one to go to preschool and spend time away from you. And it’s okay if it feels hard for both of you. This is very normal. Separation anxiety is part of growing up. It shows how much your child loves and depends on you, but it’s also a chance for them to grow stronger and more confident.
The good news? With time, love, and support, they will adjust. And when they do, you’ll see them smiling and telling you all about their day with excitement.
Here’s how you can make this journey a little smoother for both of you.
Why Do Kids Feel Separation Anxiety?
Separation anxiety happens when children feel worried or scared about being apart from their parents. This is very common for kids between 8 months to 3 years old, but even older children can go through it, especially during big changes like starting preschool.
Children feel safe when they’re with you, so being apart can feel overwhelming. They don’t yet fully understand that when you leave, you’ll always come back. This is where we step in to help them learn that being apart isn’t scary—it’s just part of their growing-up journey.
How to Make Saying Goodbye Easier
Dealing with separation anxiety takes time, but these steps can help your child feel more secure and confident:
1. Start Small with Short Separations
Begin by practicing short separations at home. For example, step into another room for a few minutes and then return. Over time, slowly increase the time apart so they learn you always come back.
2. Talk About What Will Happen
Children feel calmer when they know what to expect. Explain what’s going to happen during the day in a simple way:
“You’ll play with your friends, have snack time, and listen to a story. Then I’ll come back to take you home.” Hearing this helps them feel more prepared.
3. Make a Goodbye Routine
A special goodbye can make parting easier. It could be a big hug, a kiss, or even a fun phrase like, “See you later baby!” This goodbye routine gives them something familiar to hold onto every day.
4. Stay Calm and Confident
Kids are just like us. They can sense when we’re nervous or unsure, and it makes them feel the same way. Even if it’s hard to leave, try to stay calm and positive. Smile, reassure them, and trust that they’ll be okay.
5. Let Them Bring a Comfort Item
A small toy, a family photo, a home made food or even a note from you can give your child comfort when they’re feeling anxious. It’s like having a piece of home with them at school.
6. Keep Goodbyes Short
Long goodbyes often make it harder for your child to adjust. Say your goodbye with love and confidence, then let the teachers take over. They’re trained to comfort and distract your child quickly.
7. Focus on the Fun
Remind your child of the fun things waiting for them at school:
“You get to play in the playground today!”
“I wonder what food you will eat today at school!” Talking about these exciting things shifts their focus from leaving you to enjoying their day.
What if They’re Still Struggling?
Some children need more time to adjust, and that’s okay. If your child continues to feel upset, speak with their teacher. Teachers understand separation anxiety and can give extra hugs, attention, and reassurance to help your child settle in.
We also encourage open communication between parents and teachers. By working together, we can understand what your child needs and support them better.
It’s Okay to Feel Emotional
As parents, we often feel guilty or worried when our children cry. But remember, separation anxiety is temporary. Every tear and every goodbye is a step toward building your child’s confidence and independence.
And here’s the beautiful part—when you see your child running out of the classroom with a big smile, eager to show you their artwork or tell you about their new friend, you’ll know it was all worth it.
At our preschool, we treat every child with love and care. We work hard to create a safe, happy space where your little one feels supported as they grow. You’re not just leaving them at school—you’re helping them take their first steps into the big, exciting world.
So, take a deep breath. They’ve got this. And so do you.
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