The Struggle is Real: When Your Child Melts Down
You’re already struggling with a million things—work, home, chores—and then your child throws a tantrum right before school or as soon as they come home😑. It’s frustrating, exhausting, and honestly, heartbreaking.
But think about this: Have you ever had a bad day at work, come home, and just snapped at the first person who talked to you? Or wanting to run somewhere because it felt overwhelming? That’s exactly what’s happening with your child.
Tantrums aren’t about being “naughty” or “difficult.” They’re your child’s way of saying, “This is too much for me right now.”
Let’s break this down in a way that’s easy to understand—and even easier to apply.
Why Do Kids Have Tantrums Before and After School?
Think of your child’s day like your own packed schedule. By the time it’s over, you might feel drained, stressed, or just not ready to deal with anything else.
For kids, it’s even harder because they don’t have the words or tools to express how they feel. Here are a few reasons tantrums happen:
Morning Tantrums: Your child might feel anxious about leaving the comfort of home, having to start the day all over again.
After-School Meltdowns: Imagine coming home after a tough day and needing a moment to breathe. Kids feel the same—but instead of relaxing, they cry or lash out.
Transitions Are Hard: Switching between “home mode” and “school mode” is a big emotional jump for young kids.
Understanding this can help you respond with patience (even when you’re tempted to lose it).
Morning Tantrums: How to Make Mornings Easier
Mornings can feel like a race against time, but a little preparation and connection can make a big difference.
1. Think of It Like Your Morning Routine
If you hate rushing, your child probably does too. Start the day earlier so there’s time to wake up slowly, eat without rushing, and get ready at their own pace.
2. Choices, Choices, Choices
When you’re overwhelmed, having control over small decisions—like what to wear or eat—can help. For kids, it’s the same. Let them pick between two outfits or snacks.
3. Talk Through Their Feelings
If your child says, “I don’t want to go to school,” imagine if you were nervous about something and someone said, “You’ll be fine; stop worrying.” It wouldn’t help, right? Instead, try:
“I know it’s hard to leave home, but you’ll have fun, and I’ll be here when you’re done🥰”
This helps them feel heard, even if you can’t change the situation.
4. Prep the Night Before
Think of how much smoother your mornings are when your bag is packed or your clothes are laid out. Do the same for your child to eliminate morning stress.
After-School Meltdowns: How to Help Them Reset
After a long day at work, you might need a moment to relax before dealing with household chores or kids’ homework. Children are no different—they need time to decompress too.
1. Give Them Space to Breathe
Instead of bombarding them with questions like, “What did you learn today?” let them settle first. Offer a snack or quiet time with a favorite toy to help them reset.
2. Focus on Connection, Not Interrogation
Imagine coming home and immediately being asked, “How was work? What did you do? Did you finish that report?” Exhausting, right? Instead, reconnect with warmth:
“I missed you today! Did anything fun happen at school?”
This lets them open up when they’re ready.
3. Stick to a Routine
After a chaotic day, routines feel like a safe haven. Dinner, playtime, bath, and bedtime create a predictable rhythm that helps kids feel secure.
4. Involve Them in Tomorrow’s Prep
When you involve your child in packing their school bag or picking tomorrow’s clothes, it gives them a sense of control and excitement for the next day.
Handling Tantrums in the Moment
Even with the best routines, tantrums will still happen. Think of it like a bad day at work—sometimes, no matter how much you prepare, things just don’t go as planned.
Here’s what you can do when tantrums strike:
Stay Calm: If you yell, it’s like adding fuel to the fire. Stay calm (even if it’s hard).
Offer Comfort: A hug or a soothing word like, “I’m here for you,” can do wonders.
Redirect Their Focus: Find something to distract them—a favorite toy, a silly game, or even just asking them to help you with something.
Set Gentle Boundaries: If things escalate, stay firm but kind. For example, “It’s okay to feel upset, but let’s talk when you’re ready.”
Mummy, You’re Doing an Amazing Job
Let’s be real—parenting is hard. It’s filled with moments of doubt, exhaustion, and wondering if you’re doing it right. But here’s the truth: The fact that you’re reading this and looking for ways to help your child says everything about the kind of mom you are—dedicated, loving, and incredible.
At our preschool, we understand how hard these transitions can be. That’s why we work closely with parents to make sure every child feels safe, loved, and supported. Together, we can help your little one navigate these big feelings and enjoy their preschool journey.
Remember, you’ve got this. And when it feels tough, just know you’re not alone. We’re here to support you every step of the way.
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