What is parenting?
Parenting is simply the process of bringing up kids with protection and care to ensure growth and development. The debate on what is the best method of parenting is one that every parent battles in their daily life. As a parent, you are determined to give your child the best you can offer, but there is always that doubt of whether you are right or not.
In this article, we are going to help you understand the four main methods of parenting and why your role as a parent is crucial to your child.
4 Types of Parenting and How they Affect Children
Your parenting style affects your child in all aspects, beginning from how she weighs to how she feels about herself. It is, therefore, crucial to see that your parenting style positively affects your child.
Researchers have observed that there are four main parenting methods, namely;
Each of the four methods has a different approach and can be identified by its varying characteristics.
Do you fit in any of the following statements?
- You believe children should not be heard
- You do not consider how your toddler feel
- When it comes to decisions, you believe it has to be your way
The authoritarian believes that children have to follow their instructions to the latter without explanation.
Authoritarian parents are famous for comments like “because I said so” whenever kids question them on any of their decisions. They do not give room for negotiation as their focus in on obedience.
Children are also not given a chance to solve problems or any obstacles; they are given guidelines, failure to which they face punishment.
Authoritarian parents may use punishment instead of discipline. This means that instead of having a sit-down with a kid and teaching them how to make intelligent decisions, they invest in making kids feel sorry for themselves when they make mistakes. During kindergarten enrollement, the authoritarian parent does not consider the schools that nurture the interests today.
Sadly, children who are brought up with this method may develop self-esteem issues as they grow up believing their opinion is not valued.
The children may become aggressive and spend most of their time focusing on the anger they feel towards their parents instead of their growth.
This method could result in your child becoming a liar as they try to evade punishment.
Some of the traits of an authoritative parent are;
- They spend a lot of time creating a good relationship with their kids and maintaining it
- They explain their reasons for enforcing certain rules
- They implement rules and the consequences of breaking them while at the same time considering their kid’s feelings.
Authoritative parents make it very clear that adults are in charge; however, they also validate their kid’s feelings.
Authoritative parents spend time in preventing the development of certain characters instead of solving them when they are already happening. They also set positive measures to encourage good behavior such as; rewards system and praise.
Authoritative parents understand the importance of preschool enrollement to reputable schools that nurture a kid’s growth.
Children brought up using this method grow up to be happy and successful; they are also likely to make great decisions on their own.
Here are hints that you may be a permissive parent;
- You rarely punish kids for breaking rules
- You set rules but never enforce them
- You feel your child will learn best without your interference
Permissive parents are very lenient and only step in when there is serious trouble.
These parents have the “kids will be kids,” attitude and they tend to be very forgiving. Sometimes they may take privileges away from their kids but eventually, give them back if they promise to behave.
These parents are more of friends to their children than parents. Although they may have a close relationship with their children as they encourage them to talk to them when they are facing challenges – They do not correct their wrong behavior.
Not all parenting time is fun time; be prepared for your toddlers tantrums, there are timeless!
Kids brought up using this style are likely to struggle with their academics. They may have behavioral problems as they do not appreciate rules or authority. They end up sad with very low self-esteem.
They are also likely to have health problems such as obesity because their parents are not strict with their consumption of junk food. They may also have dental issues as their parents are not strict with issues like brushing their teeth.
Do any of these statements reflect your character?
- You never ask whether your child has homework or not
- You never spare time to spend with your child
- You never know who your child is with or their whereabouts
Uninvolved parents don’t know what is going on in the lives of their children at any particular time – they expect them to raise themselves.
They don’t offer guidance or spend any energy taking care of the emotional or physical needs of their children. As a result, the children may face behavior changes, sadness, poor class performance, and low self-esteem. This is because they lack the access to kindergarten programmes that are up to standards.
Uninvolved parents do not it on purpose; some of them may be having mental issues or struggling with drug abuse. Others may be overwhelmed by issues such as managing households, paying bills, and work.
The authoritative parenting is the most voted parenting style. So you identify with being a permissive or uninvolved parent at some point? Is there any reason for worrying? No.
Through practice, commitment, and dedication, you can become an authoritative parent, and your child can eventually reap the benefits.
10 Tips that Will Skyrocket Your Parenting Skills
- Walk the talk. Do not just tell your children who they need to be, and what to do to be it. You have to be the role model. One special thing about human species is that they imitate what they see. They watch your actions, understand them, and make them their behavior. Respect your child, be positive, and respect their emotions, and you will be sure of them reciprocating.
- Be a loving parent. There is nothing like loving your child too much. Only things you do in the name of love lead to a spoiled brat. Love can be anything from showering them with hugs, spending ample time with them and listening to them when they are facing challenges. This makes them resilient and creates a close relationship with you.
- Be a positive parent. What you give to your child is what they share with the world. This is why it is vital that you give them the right experiences. Don’t be too serious or busy for them, sing a silly song with them, and solve a problem with a positive approach together. As much as when disciplining them, it is hard to be positive; you can try positive disciplining instead of being punitive. Try to comprehend why your child is behaving in a certain way before punishing them. Through this, they will learn what is right and what is morally wrong.
- Be a safe haven for your baby. Be responsive to your kid’s need. Let them know that you will always be there for them. Support and accept your baby for who they are. Children brought up by responsive parents have better mental, social, and emotional development.
- Create a good communication platform. Communication is the key to making every relationship work. Talk to your child and listen attentively. Ask questions about their experiences and how they feel. At times, you do not even need to offer solutions; as they take you through their troubles, they make sense out of it.
- Reflect on your own childhood. Most of us want to make changes while bringing up our kids; we do not want to do it the way our parents did it. However, the moment we get to it, we do the exact thing. This may not be a bad this as most people had beautiful childhoods. However, it’s wise to take time to reflect on how your childhood was, and consciously start changing the things you would love to change. It takes time, so be patient and keep practicing.
- Focus on your well-being. You can only be a good parent if you are mentally fit. When kids come along, many people stop improving and working on their personal goals. Take some time off and solve the issues you may be experiencing; ignoring them may bring long-term problems.
- No spanking. Okay, I know this is quite debatable because let’s be honest, kids can be very annoying sometimes. However, smacking kids only teaches them to avoid being caught instead of improving their behavior. They also learn that disputes are solved through violence. They are likely to verbally/physically abuse other kids or people later in their life.
- Learn to keep perspective. What is the main goal for your parenting; for most parenting, it is ensuring their kids have meaningful relationships in the future, they flourish academically and eventually gain independence. But how many times do you spend time building towards this? Most time, you just want the day to pass by. See that before you pour frustrations to your kid, you ask yourself whether it aligns with your goal as a parent.
- Take a shortcut. Like everything in life, you do not need to stress yourself reinventing a whim. Everything has already been done; there have been parents who were stressed just like you in the past. Multiple types of research have been done that explains the physiology of kids, take advantage of them. Of course, all children are unique in different ways, so take time to choose what is best for your toddler.
Parenting is both fun and challenging. It can be exhausting at times, especially when you are a mum for the first time or when your kids don’t seem to be moving to the direction you intended them to follow.
However, by understanding what kind of parent you are, and why you parent the way you do; you can finally catch up. Some of these practices may take a while as human beings stick to what they are accustomed to doing. However, with persistence, you eventually get there.
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