My Child Hates School. What Do I Do?

How to motivate your kid to love school

“How do I motivate my pre-schooler to love school?” You are not the first parent who has found herself desperate for the answer to this question.

As a parent, the academic success of our kids is critical to us; we want to see them pass all their examinations to secure their future.

I am not saying for a lavish lifestyle one has to be scoring high academically – NO

BUT, you want your kid to learn the essence of doing her best and being an achiever.

Schooling is, therefore, an important stage development for kids.

So what do you do if she hates school and is constantly avoiding homework, and waking up with “headaches” every day?

Here are tips that have helped other parents in your position turns things around;

Stay Calm and Positive – You and Your Toddler are On One Team

Okay, I know it is hard to keep calm when you are stressing to teach her something, and she is just not there with you. As a parent, you feel she is disrespectful and disinterested.

You expect her to cooperate and concentrate on improving her skills.

The frustration you feel is usual because we feel responsible for how our kids turn out.

However, if you always fight with your kid about school and punish her, you give her a reason to hate it even more.

The danger in destroying your relationship with your kid is that she may learn to not listen to you. This means the next time you have something helpful to teach her; it will just slip her mind.

Find something to calm down when you feel worked up like an affirmation (She is in the right path, she is growing and learning every day)

Most importantly, don’t treat your tot like she is in an opposition party – You both want similar results.

The “When You” Rule

Okay, this is not like a villain rule I want you to try on your kid.

I just want you to teach her to delay gratification.

Most of the things we do (even as adults) is because we want quick gratification- we want to feel good and enjoy the moment.

This skill will, therefore, go a long way shaping the personality of your toddler.

For example, tell her

“You can play your game when you finish reading your storybook”


“When you are done with your homework, you can go play outside.”

You are simply teaching her to be disciplined and set her priorities right.

Create a Conducive Environment for Your Kids

Sometimes in life, we don’t know we need something until it is given to us.

Our kids only think they need happy times until they are grown and start blaming us for poor parents – we have all heard the “My mom never cared about my school performance” interviews.

It is, therefore, your duty to create a structure that allows her to study well.

Observe her best time to study, and schedule studying time for her.

Let her mind get used to her studying time.

In the study room, don’t allow any distractive materials such as internet or phones.

Even when she is done with school work before her studying time is over, she can read storybooks.

At first, you will feel guilty and think you are punishing her, but she will thank you later in her interview.

How to motivate your kid to love school

Her Teacher is Your Partner

If you are trying so hard and nothing seems to work out yet, talk to your kid’s teacher.

Some of the problems that you are likely to experience are your child forgetting to carry her homework home.

Let her check with her teacher before coming home.

Be careful to see that she carries her homework back to school, we all know that feeling of seeing the homework book just after the bus leaves.

Once you realize that your child is gaining independence and can do everything on her own – give her space and let her run her world.

Study Corner

Managing kids when you have more than two or even two in the house is such a hassle.

If you want your child to concentrate, find her a quiet place in the house where she can complete her school work away from her siblings.

Stay with her on the first days for a few minutes to talk about her homework and return to review it when she is done.

If you have two kids, study their learning habits separately, don’t make them have the same routine, one coat has never been a fit for all.

Every kid is unique. It’s okay if they have different routines.

Some kids will do well in a study room when another one may comfortably complete her homework on the kitchen table as mommy prepares dinner.

Break the Assignments into Small Bits

Sometimes the thought of having big assignments is very disturbing and stressful. It is hard to focus when we know we have so much to do in such a short time.

We become tired mentally, which affects our performance.

You have probably realized how many unnecessary things you find yourself doing when you are about to do laundry – it’s just your brain procrastinating everything to protect you from any fatigue.

To make it easy, break the homework of your toddler into small bits so that she only deals with a small part at a time.

You Still Have to Enforce the Rules

As much as you want to stay positive and help your child overcome her fears, you still have to be firm and ensure she follows the rules that are required to help her get better.

If you set the ‘when rule’ today and the following week, your child is breaking the rule with no consequences, there will be no progress.

Set the consequences of doing the wrong thing and let her face them.

Don’t protect her from seeing how she is suffering from her failure to follow instructions.

However, you still have to remember that her performance does not reflect your parenting skills. This thought alone can break hell loose in both of your lives.

Is Your Child Anxious?

Sometimes anxiety can be mistaken for laziness and ignorance. The fear to fail and being awful at something can stop us from doing something.

Be sure you know what the cause of lack of motivation is before taking any action. You may need to work on her self-esteem instead of her academic performance to put everything in balance.

One reason why your child may not be improving despite the constant efforts is because you are approaching the problem from the wrong dimension.

Unfortunately, a kid doesn’t know when she is suffering from anxiety, so you have to watch out for signs.

Let Your Child Do Her Work

We don’t want to raise lazy kids; it’s personal. The society will point fingers at us.

As a result of the pressure, you may end up helping so much to avoid any shame.

When you think you are helping, it only makes the situation worse.

See yourself as a coach in your kid’s life. Don’t micromanage her or do anything for her. Just show her the direction.

Help her set up a study location, time table, and everything we talked about BUT don’t do stuff for her.

Remember this is her journey and not yours. Let her own it!

Don’t Project Your Fear into Your Child’s Future

What happens if my child does not become successful? That thought gives every parent a headache. It is hard to help when you are acting from a place of fear.

It is vital to accept that we cannot predict our future – if you are honest with yourself so many things in your life never turned out the way you expected them to turn out.

Simply because your kid shows interest in other things that are not academically related doesn’t mean they are going to be failures.

Support them in other fruitful areas of their life and focus on making the present pleasant for everyone.

Take Away – It Has Nothing to Do with You & Everything to Do with Your Baby

Parenting becomes tough when you begin taking everything at a personal level.

Whatever is going on in your child does not reflect your parenting skills.

She is still growing and learning to make her choices.

You have to ensure she is in the right direction – not to take over the driver’s seat.

Allow her to experience life and be supportive.

Remember sometimes fixing a totally different part of her life like confidence and self-esteem may be a game-changer.

You can only know how you need to help if she still trusts you.












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